As I was saying:
When we see the consequences of sin, this becomes a good teaching tool. Society teaches the value of greed. Greed doesn’t benefit you but only hurts. Greed leads to coveting and coveting leads to stealing. Where do you think that person went wrong?
He got into trouble when he set his heart on selfish greed. Use everyday opportunities as teaching tools and examples that we can easily fall into if we don’t follow God. If you have not already laid the groundwork by your lifestyle and verbal instruction, teaching opportunities will not be as effective as they might have been. Perhaps you will speak. Perhaps he will be silent. Perhaps he will think to himself, “We know Dad. There he goes again. I’ll just wait for him to stop.” He won’t fight with you. He’ll just ignore you.
There is no better time to talk about the things of God than a child’s bedtime. It is at this time that the whole world is briefly pushed aside and during these quiet moments, kids minds are like sponges.
Kids crave a routine. Families should pray together, have fun together, eat together, and converse especially before sleep together.
Make it fun so they eagerly look forward to this time.
Teach them to set goals and achieve them. When one of my kids memorizes their scripture goal, they get to go out to get an ice cream with dad. A father must build a relationship with his children and through this relationship the opportunity to shape their character is born.
A father can’t effectively train a child from a distance or in a passing moment. There must be an ongoing discipleship through a relationship between fathers and children. It begins with a dad’s relationship with Jesus Christ.
I can’t pass on what I don’t have. Faith is grown in the family as God’s love and grace is lived out between a husband and wife and then flows down to the children. When we live our faith inside God’s design, it becomes a straight flow from God down to the child. The family is a symbol of God’s divine plan of the church. If we can’t live God’s purpose out in our family, we will be severely crippled in our church.
Ephesians describes the positions of husbands and wives and then tells us that this great mystery is Christ’s plan for the church.
When families submit to this plan then we are obedient children of the church and can effectively draw the world into that church family. You must have God’s Ways to be an effective parent. This point is more important today than ever! We are surrounded with many viewpoints of doctrine. There is much blame, accusations of apostasy, and with today’s social media and search engines, this spreads almost instantly.
One says, “We are not Calvinist” and another says, “We disdain modern Presbyterians.” A third picks on Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Iglesia ni Cristo, and so many others literally some with neon signs out front flashing like it’s a Christmas sale. Some are saying nothing about the blood of Christ (“We don’t want a bloody religion) and another is telling some 20,000 “God wants to make you rich!” (I have my doubts.)
The young people in college are seeking answers. Some are seriously interested, others just want to gain perverse pleasure starting arguments here and there, blaming “your god” for everything and claiming they have a better morality! One gay man told me, “I’ve read the Bible!” Oh, so maybe he did, once quickly. Meanwhile true scholars study the deepest meanings, the Gematria seeking cross linked coded meanings going back centuries. They’re STILL reading the Bible. When they got their PhD it proved they’ve learned how to learn. They’ll continue learning for the rest of their lives! As for those mockers, give them once chance and then stop wasting your time. They do not have an open mind. They are not in a learning mode.
If OUR families visit churches and then behave disgracefully, what message does this send to non-Christian people seeking answers? Can they EVER be saved in this environment? God-Only-Knows.
Families are the foundation of a healthy society. We can never have a healthy society without nuclear families seeking God’s Wisdom to control and guide their lives.
Families are the product of the church and become the foundation of the church. We can’t build a healthy church without healthy families. It begins with the father surrendering to God’s call and being the leader God has commanded him to be.
The mother can stand in the gap, but can’t take over that role. Without husbands and wives working together as joint heirs in God’s plan, the church will be crippled and continue downward until society tears itself apart, or until the people choose to obey God. History is replete with examples of social collapse. Those people to the last child worshipped false religions, false doctrines and false gods to their peril. The greatest ancient cities are gone. Only Jerusalem is still here after it was restored beginning in 1947 and further in 1967.
Jerusalem is left ONLY because “The People of The Book” continued to study the book, worship the true and living God and pray for a restoration of their homeland and God’s City Jerusalem. Just one ancient city remains to fall, Damascus. When it goes the world will stand again in societal collapse facing the ONE city representing God’s Holy Way, and even that city is far from righteous. When that day comes, and it will be soon, then the lost, the confused, the unrighteous, the damned and the divine will KNOW that Yahovah/HaShem/The Heavenly Father, is the Only True and Living God. Then there will be peace and restoration.
Until then and from now, do your best to follow God’s Way and teach it to your children by words, by reading and examples in your marriage.
We’ve come to the end of this series and certainly I have not answered every question. The marriage counseling literature available free of charge is everywhere. Some is excellent, some is written by people whose writing is so bad it isn’t ready for publication until edited. Sadly, you are left in the middle of this, and I am doing my best to present a few articles here at www.HeavensWay2022.com to help you.
The husband is the head of the household. As such he is the student of Christ and the follower of Christ’s examples. Marriage is not a license to be an abusive tyrant toward anyone. Marriage is a spiritual journey and every day you lay another plank of understanding on the bridge from here across time to “forever.” That is why we men should be thoughtful about everything.
The base line of life and the creation of the Universe is communication. God communicated the design to The Living Word who is also known to us as Jesus the Christ. Jesus SPOKE the universe into existence. Everything out there connects through energy and it all is communicating constantly.
The more You and Mrs. communicate the better will be your understanding, and thus your friendship and from this your love. Then, if you have bedroom issues you can communicate about those too, learn more about how to please one another, understanding that your male timing to get started is 30-seconds and hers is 30-minutes. How do you solve that problem?
My answer to you is to learn Swedish Massage (much of it is free at YouTube) and over time the rest will take care of itself. That also means you may be required to entirely change your thinking, pleasuring style and techniques. Nothing wrong with that! Being a doctor and younger male (once) I wrote extensively about that, but this is not the time for that discussion. Just please understand, you cannot “take” a woman and use her and she does not “owe” that to you. The more you insist that she owes you sexual pleasure, the worse it’s going to get!
Likewise to women I say, “Stop attempting to control and change that man. The more you try, the worse your problems will become!”
You can tell him, “Your drinking and gambling is killing this home” but he must be the one to seek help and make the change. You can’t beat him into submission. Some problems like those, are best solved by the Holy Spirit. You can pray.
All the expensive “therapy” in the world will not change a mind unwilling to change. All the justification for “why she smokes” or “why he gambles” won’t explain the problem away and make it any better. Sincere prayer will give God reason to make it better.
What can we say then to young people who want to tell us our Christianity, conservative views and economic Capitalism is the “disease” and their outright Marxism is the cure? I think, first ask questions. You can’t win by fighting. You can win by asking them, “Are you sincerely interested to know why we disagree?” if “yes” then you can talk truthfully over many things, refer to other experts, and admit that Christians are not perfect, but forgiven and seeking true answers. This website has a few convenient articles using good science to prove God is real and the universe must have been created. Once one accepts that, the rest is more likely to be accepted.
Some people are not interested in truth. They’re interested in “making themselves right.” Their only interest is to win their argument. So, refuse to argue. You can even outright say, “I won’t argue this with you. Are you sincerely seeking answers?” If the lad says “no” tell him you have no interest in further discussion and walk away! Is that “unchristian?” Jesus let it happen.
Matthew 19:16-22 New King James Version (NKJV)
Jesus Counsels the Rich Young Ruler
16 Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good[a] Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”
18 He said to Him, “Which ones?”
Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ 19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”
20 The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept [d]from my youth. What do I still lack?”
21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
Did Jesus run after him yelling, “Wait! WAIT! You don’t understand.” Did he?
Mark 10: finishes the story with this:
23 And Jesus, looking around, *said to His disciples, “How hard it will be for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at His words. But Jesus *answered again and *said to them, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 They were even more astonished and said to Him, “[b]Then who can be saved?” 27 Looking at them, Jesus *said, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
So, my beloved brother, and sister reading with me here, we see another answer to the many questions about better answers, higher morality, and ‘how can I live because nearly everything I do can be counted as sin?’
“With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
All things are possible. Not all things are “profitable” or “beneficial.” Further study will show you to follow God’s Right Ways and avoid the sins of this world that puts evil for good and good for evil. Don’t bring strange fire to the alter, nor strange “fire” to the bedroom, nor “strange doctrinal viewpoints to your lives!” The ancient masters and the writers of the 1800s were some of Christianity’s best. You don’t need to find a “modern” viewpoint to fit your life into a modern world that insists that we all must be young, attractive and rrrRich! You must be willing to drop all of that at the spiritual deceiver’s junkyard, walk up the rocky slope in the heat, and finally drop onto your knees, beg forgiveness, and ask for guidance to change and learn the right ways to Follow Him.
I didn’t promise you an easy way. It can be a long climb to the top of this mountain, but the reward does not come when at last reaching a goal. The reward is the adventures through every day of our journey.
My view is to worship God through Jesus and even worship though your love for your wife and children. This is a radical view. Can you DARE to imagine a man whispering a prayer in his wife’s ear (?), “Thank you Heavenly Father for my wife, for this marriage. Participate with us as we make love to one another.” Yes radical by today’s thinking, but I also think it might bind two people together with golden cords that cannot be broken.
The obverse side of the coin is worse! I know some Baptist preachers who are so afraid of sex I’d guess they attempted making love 12-times in the past 40 years!!! And I knew about a Baptist preacher’s wife who told her soon to be engaged daughter, “Men just have to do that and women just have to tolerate it!”
That’s a picture of two people who are completely dysfunctional about expressing love to one another. That’s not a sign of being “righteous,” it’s sign of complete confusion!
You can write to me and say, “My problem is my wife wants me too much. She’s wearing me out. She’s like a Olympic coach. What should I do?” But don’t write and say, “She doesn’t like sex” because most probably the problem is a sad youthful life and dark secrets hidden in her emotional closets, or the problem is your refusal to learn anything because you’d like to imagine you were born knowing everything. Probably you were not.
By the way, a lot of women can instruct you if you’re willing to learn and listen. Over time you’ll get it and you don’t need me to explain. First, learn to do some massage. If your home has too many couches and no massage table that’s a problem. Sell a couch.
If your bedroom is so big you can play basketball in there, fill some space at the foot of the bed with a massage table. You’ll not only develop a better love life, your entire marriage will change, and oh by the way, probably you’ll cut your health-care expenses in half. You’ll see. I’m not going to explain it all here and now. You’ll see!
Eat real food as God gave it to us, exercise moderately, learn to massage, especially the feet, legs, buttocks and back, especially the muscles either side of the spine. That table will repay its cost about a million times over! Prefer to build one? Great idea. Learn more about sizes and heights and build something. I’ve built several and made my living on three of them.
Right….well, I’m not a pastor poisoned by “pastor’s school” I’m a doctor using the mind God gave me. It worked for the Apostle Luke, and so far it’s working for me. I’ve given health care to patients an estimated 157,000 times. I think I know what I’m talking about, not by arrogance but because of experience.
Love your wife, love your kids, at the top of the list for a guaranteed success to get out of this bog of confused weeks FIRST of all,
Matthew 22:37 New International Version (NIV)
37 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a]
Thank you for reading with me.
More recommended reading: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/